I want to be His Masterpiece!

I know we all struggle with so many different things in life.  Some of us struggle with small things (what to wear, what to do, who to text, how to cure boredom, etc),  Some of us really struggle with who God has made us to be.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  I have been in a funk.  Really it isn't a small funk.  I have been easily offended, crabby, unhappy about things that I am sure I should be content with, I've been comparing myself to others (good and bad) and been totally frustrated with my schedule, organization (mostly the lack there of), my abilities, my lack of abilities, my parenting skills, if I am doing enough as a wife, mom and friend, the fact that I have like no friends that I do anything with... I could go on and on and on but it's overwhelming writing it all down right now.

I have the best of intentions.  I want to call people more, write people more, not get frustrated with my kids, do all kinds of special little things for my husband.  I want to learn more about business so I am a better business owner.  I want to have a ton of energy and pizzazz for my morning job.  I want to have working out in my schedule and when I finally do get home each day I know if I just spent 15 minutes picking things up I would be so much less frustrated walking into the house the next day.

The truth is, the last month has been super tough on me.  There are many reasons.  There are reasons I have no problem admitting, reasons it makes me sad to admit and reasons that I really don't want to.  You know those things we all have hidden in our dark corners (the self doubt, the fear, the uncertainty).

I have been working on the next three months of staff meetings for my morning job.  In hearing things going on in people's lives, in having empathy for their struggles and times in life, I was taken back to a few of my favorite lessons that I have done some speaking on.  There are two amazing guys.  They are called "The Skit Guys"  .  Please check them out, support them, use their video's and scripts, be encouraged and encourage others.  Ok I have digressed.

I have realized that as I have been working on bringing together the next three months of meetings, that the messages I want to be sharing are messages I need to be encouraged by right now in my own life.  I have been totally down on myself lately.  I keep feeling super inadequate.  I feel like no matter what I do, someone has to come and fix what I have done.  I feel like as soon as I get something started, I have to move onto something else and I don't get to see a project to completion.  I feel like no matter how hard I try, it isn't hard enough.  No matter how much I give, I need to give more.  No matter how I feel, I need to feel differently.   There are so many "I's" involved with my feelings.  I don't want to give too much away as I know some of the team I work with could be reading this, but we will be watching some skit guys in the next few months.  As frustrated as I have been feeling, I know that one thing is true.  I am God's Masterpiece.  I am not junk. " I am God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus."

I want to leave you with a video from Youtube of a skit.  Now these guys have some hilarious skits, some skits that make you feel "normal" and some that truly help you contemplate and understand God's work and purpose for your life.  This is one of those.  Be encouraged, be inspired, be challenged.  I know I watched this again tonight and I am completely challenged to ask God to chisel away at the things hindering me.  Sometimes asking for help and for something new and different is one of the hardest things to do.

I am a Masterpiece.  I am a Masterpiece. I am a Masterpiece.  I am a Masterpiece.  

Forgiven

Before I head off to bed tonight, I want to share with you the Picture that has become the new favorite here at the Carr Household.  This is called "Forgiven" and it is by our favorite artist.  Rodney Lough Jr.  Check out his website here.  He has an absolutely amazing gallery in San Francisco near Pier 39.  Mike and I stumbled across the gallery on our 2nd wedding anniversary.  We had to go to the bay area to be at an intense City Council Meeting.  We were the Noise Consultants on a controversial Car Wash.  There are so many things to say about that statement but none the less, it helps put food on the table and quite honestly, noise affects us hugely, so there was a lot to be said about this car wash.  (It didn't pass and it wasn't because of a noise issue, though that is the easiest to blame).  I have digressed.

It wasn't the ideal way to spend our anniversary.  Our dinner was spent with Mike prepping for the meeting and then listening to people get upset over something that was a non-issue.  We started driving, just wanted to see what was still open and if there was anything to go do.  We walked in the gallery and spent the rest of our evening there. We fell in love with the photography and the beauty that lies in each photo.  There is a very special process, special film, special camera, and special paper.... on and on... these are one of a kind.  As you brighten or dim a light, the photo changes and pulls you in, makes you feel like you are right there.

That night at the gallery, we closed the place down.  If you know our story, Mike and I have a way of doing this.  Dana, our consultant/salesman, truly loves the art and knows so much about it.  We ended up getting to know Him and he found out it was our anniversary.  Shortly after we were served wonderful glasses of wine as we browsed the gallery and view truly amazing pieces of art in special viewing rooms.  I will never forget our evening as we fell in love with God's amazing creation over and over again through the eyes, talent and wisdom of this artist.

Our new favorite is "Forgiven".  We LOVE this picture, but we know that behind every picture is a story to go with it.  Let me share with you what Rodney wrote up about this Photo, 

“I awoke the other day questioning my faith wondering which was the greater of these:forgive or be forgiven. Many of us have experienced both. For me the greater is most definitely ‘forgive’, but I’m not so sure I’ve truly been able to do it. Ever. So for now I’ll have to just be satisfied with being ‘Forgiven’.”

As I finish this post, I just wanted to share this piece with you, the thought that goes along with it and the peace that comes in my heart after seeing this picture and hearing that I am FORGIVEN.  I’ve really needed to be reminded of that a lot lately.